Hooplahs and Hijinks

So.  A wee list of some things i have learnt.   So far.


1.  Your private bits aint so private anymore.  I'm going to ask for a donation each time they're a) mentioned, b) probed, c) referred to in any documentation.  There's the uni fund started! 
2.  It's not ok to say 'fuck me!' in a scan.
3.  Cravings (or un-cravings) are hereditary.  Thanks mum.
4.  I have a feeling mini-me might be a vego.  sorry dude.
5.  A proper mum would be craving organic apples grown in fresh cow poo with oodles of love, and allowed to fall off the tree in their own sweet time, into a cushioned basket.  Not whittakers, trumpets and baked beans.
6.  All houses should come with motion-sensor lighting to avoid stumped toes in the middle of the night wee runs.
7.  Animals can sense pregnancy.  Dogs get wickedly over-protective.  Cats just get pissy.
8. Always helpful to put the lid on the blender prior to blending frozen blackberries.
9. Mums know.
10. Luckily, despite what most people think, Dad's (grandads-to-be) do find it somewhat humourous to be told via a photo emailed to them with the tag 'surprise!'.
11. Humungous boobs do in fact get bigger in pregnancy.  Choice.
12. On the memory thing.  It is possible to temporarily forget, notice a spare tyre and try to suck it in. (it doesnt work).